R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
