If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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