just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
