that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
