I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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