hotel room ftw
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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