what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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