Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize