apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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