I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
