How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
