Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
