He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
