remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
