I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
