My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
