Nicole vs. Life
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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