Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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