Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
