If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
