be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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