Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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