IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
