wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
