Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
