What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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