bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
