Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
