Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think my moral compass just broke
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
