All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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