did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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