Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
