Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
