I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
