Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
