so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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