There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
