i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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