When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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