Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
