so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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