Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
too bad you live with your parents still
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
