So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
