I CAN MOONWALK!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
