he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
