Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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