you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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