All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
