Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
