So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
