i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
