so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
