just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
