PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
