Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
