i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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