I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize